Arguably, control of the Senate is the real prize. Whichever party gains control not only has influence over Bush's judicial nominees, but also earns the right to decorate the chamber, and GOP leaders have already determined the perfect spot to hang their hilarious "Life is Full of Difficult Choices" beer poster. Of course, such an advantage may come at the expense of legislative efficiency, as having a large majority of either Republican or Democratic Senators would make it that much harder for the two parties to pair up during "couples skate."

Also up for grabs this year are more than one-third of state governorships. Even if your state is not having a gubernatorial contest, these elections are at least noteworthy for the chance to watch adult men and women say "goober" over and over again without giggling.

When all is said and done, however, can either party be said to have "won?" Well, if winning means defeating your opponent by getting more votes than they did, then yes. The victorious side will enjoy the perks that come with rushing headlong into an expensive war, while the losers will be faced with the daunting task of coming up with new and improved ways to assign blame to the other guys. Until the votes are counted, however, there's one question that must take precedence over all others: How will Florida find a way to screw it all up?