While visiting a friend out-of-state, I wasn't able to get online most of that time because her computer was down. However, it's not like I'm an "Internet Junkie". I don't suffer from, as the mental health community terms it, "pathological internet use". I swear. Hey, just because I get online everyday doesn't mean I have to!

I can stop logging on any time I want. Damn straight I can. I just don't want to.

Here's the journal I kept while offline. Amazingly, I was able to document my activities with these primitive tools called a "pencil" and "paper". It's kind of hard to explain what those are, but, suffice to say, they're a bit like a keyboard and computer - except you don't have to plug them in to make them work. I'm not making that up. It's true.

OFFLINE JOURNAL

DAY 1: I'm feeling good. Other than not being able to read the news on the BBC, CNET, MSNBC, CNN, Drudge Report, Australian Broadcasting Corp., Google News, Reuters, 'Best of the Web Today', AP, Yahoo News, blogcritics.org, worldnetdaily, Ain't-It-Cool News, and CBC.ca websites (not to mention dozens of web logs), I'm A-ok.

Other than feeling isolated in a very scary and unfamiliar world, in other words.

Instead, my friend offers me the daily paper. Ink printed on big sheets of paper; can you believe that? Before I get to the end of the first section, my fingertips turn black. As it so happens, this ink rubs off! Hey, if it's not in an ink-jet printer cartridge, it's not ink in my book.

Maybe I need to 'Refresh' my attitude.

So, I go to the park. However, it smells funny. It doesn't smell sterile. It leaves me feeling anxious and confused.

On the way home, I get lost. It's not my fault, as I wasn't able to get online and print out a "neighborhood map" beforehand. I have to rely on street signs to find my way. Yeah, like that's gonna work. Talk about a crazy and complicated way of doing things. Street signs - sheesh!

DAY 2: Spend most of the afternoon remembering the good ole days. I first got online in the mid-80s. Back then, all we had were Bulletin Board Systems (BBSs). Simply put, these were single computers, often in somebody's home, with one phone line to connect. If somebody else was online, the line was busy and you had to wait your turn. I started at 300bps, and then went to 1200bps. But it was never fast enough.