Blogcritics Satire

Satire: Spokespersons Say Military Not Ready for Diversity

Diana Hartman — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:24:22 EST

Interviewed sources cite history when justifying a ban on gay military personnel.
Dismissing pleas of retired military generals and admirals to repeal the incomplete sentence that is law, “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” gainfully employed military spokespersons remain opposed to gays serving openly in the military, citing “sexual tension” and “disruptions to good order, morale, discipline and...

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Tue, 18 Nov 2008 09:24:22 EST

Google Searches Can Also Track Intellectual Outbreaks

Robert K. Blechman — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:26:42 EST

Simple steps to avoid an epidemic of cognitive activity.
An article in today's New York Times discusses how Google queries can anticipate the rise in reported flu outbreaks and beat the forecasts of the CDC, sometimes by weeks at a time.A similar technique could be used to track intellectual activity through Google queries. A recent article in The Atlantic suggested that using Google is making us...

Bush And Obama: What Really Happened at the White House

Mark Schannon — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 19:21:37 EST

What really happened when President Bush and President-elect Obama met at the White House? Here's the real dope.
President-elect Barack Obama made his first visit to the White House at the invitation of George Bush. Although reporters were kept away from the meeting, and the two offered no remarks after the visit, your intrepid reporter has sources deep inside the presidential mansion and has learned much of what transpired between the two former adversaries....

After Much Debate, the Title of "Greatest Sport" Goes To...

Casey Michel — Sun, 9 Nov 2008 16:03:09 EST

After centuries of heated debate, one sport has finally emerged as the greatest of all time.
What sport, above all others, embodies the fire of the human spirit? What sport combines more grit, guts, and gregariousness than Odysseus or Ulysses ever knew? What sport propels men, women, and children beyond their hardened limits and into the world of excellence and legend?Most of you, I’m sure, have already guessed the answer. Maybe you...

Palin in 2012: Let's Get the Party Started!

Winston Apple — Sun, 9 Nov 2008 12:59:44 EST

We must cleanse the Republican Party of the moderates who stand in the way of party unity and purity.
With the election of 2008 already days behind us, it's time to shift our focus to the election of 2012. The main order of business now is to rid the Republican Party of the few remaining moderates who stand in the way of party unity and party purity. Sarah Palin has already proven that she can simultaneously be a uniter and a divider. Among her...

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Sun, 9 Nov 2008 12:59:44 EST

Obama's First News Conference: Questions We Wish They'd Asked

Mark Schannon — Sun, 9 Nov 2008 01:44:52 EST

What might we have learned had reporters asked the right questions at Obama's first news conference as President-elect.
Is there a group more trapped in the world of hysterical obviousness than the presidential press corps? In his first news conference as president-elect, Obama was called cautious in his responses by The Washington Post. Perhaps that’s not the right word. Bored brainless might be better. Every question, regardless of whether it was on...

How To Make Friends

Kyle West — Mon, 3 Nov 2008 18:50:57 EST

Being popular is often synonymous with being an expert liar.
Through my 20 odd years of life, I’ve always had at least one friend. How do I do that, you might ask? Well, let’s just say I’m a pro. I’ve been making friends since before kindergarten, so I guess you could say I have experience. And it is my hope that, after reading this informative how-to on how to make friends, you will...

My New Best Commander-in-Chief

Brad Laidman — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 22:37:09 EDT

Barack Obama - you're up for discussion
Lately, I’ve found myself bombarded with two television spectacles that seem to on my television set nearly every second of every day. One is Paris Hilton’s My New BFF and the other is the Presidential election. Who knew that there was this much gossiping, pandering, and backstabbing going on in the world? And by that, of course,...

How To Stress

Stephanie Rasch — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:03:16 EDT

Have you become too content? This guide will help you regain your frantic, uptight ways in no time.
Living in an age of instant gratification, it may seem easy to stress. Larger demands on time with less emphasis on the well-being of numero uno help create a great deal of anxiety today. Recently, however, I’ve noticed a movement to help relieve these over-worked stress bunnies.Companies are implementing massage therapy in the workplace to...

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Fri, 31 Oct 2008 00:03:16 EDT

So, Who Wants On The Blazers Bandwagon?

Casey Michel — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:22:18 EDT

Spots on the Blazers bandwagon are filling quickly - do you have what it takes to make it before it's too late?
Unless you’re busy spending $150,000 on clothes and makeup — and therefore spreading the wealth! — you’ve undoubtedly heard that my Trail Blazers are back. With Oden’s beard, Roy’s stealth, and Coach Nate’s bark, these P-Towners are set to squash Western Conference bottom-feeders and force the looming...